Wedding Dress

My grandmother, Gram Phelan, told me when I was a little girl that she would love for me to walk down the aisle in her wedding gown. She kept the dress for years in a box on a shelf in one of her closets at the summer house on Cape Cod where she married my grandfather. When I visited her one summer, she took out the wedding gown and showed it to me.

She let me try on the dress, and I pretended that I was at an elegant ball with my Prince Charming. Gram was always patient and loving with me and with all the kids who packed her house every summer, and would spend time with me listening to all my hopes and dreams. I remember her playing tea party with us, pretending to be a good fairy or even a talking cat. She always had a great sense of humor.

Gram grew up in Boston and was married soon after her coming out party in 1958. Her wedding dress was designed by a then-famous Paris wedding gown designer and was similar to the dress Princess Grace had worn at her wedding a few years earlier. The lace was so delicate and intricate and the full skirt would make any girl feel like a princess.

Gram passed on last year before she could see me walk down the aisle. When my mother and I took out her wedding gown, it had been damaged by the years and wasn't wearable, but I was determined to somehow honor Gram by wearing her dress.

Months before my wedding, my mother, Molly, Julia, and I went dress shopping, and my mission was to find a dress like Gram's. The day started with a small tribute to my grandmother – lunch at Carnegie Deli. The restaurant was crazy busy, and the sandwiches were too big for one person. But Gram loved coming here when she and Gramps would come to New York for a weekend. She would always bring cold cuts and cheesecake home with her for all of us, even though Gramps would grumble about the deli smell when they were on the train.

After trying gowns on at many stores, we ended the day at Eve Dress Shop, where my mother had made an appointment the minute she heard about the engagement. The shop’s head gown designer took the time to understand the importance of Gram's dress not only to me but my family.

I felt she valued the love I have for Gram and what the dress represents, which is a legacy of family, culture, and history.

The final showing of my wedding dress took place many months after we commissioned the design. I was stunned when I saw my wedding gown presented to me. I was instantly transported back to my wonderful childhood experiences with Gram. The designer had recreated the gown to catch the style of Gram's dress, but it looked like a current gown. The delicate lace handwork was flawless. I was a princess again.

To my surprise, my mother confessed that the designer was authorized to dismantle Gram's original wedding dress to use some of the material on mine. Even with scrutiny, I could not find any indication of where the old and new material met. She even used some of the remaining material to make pillows for the rings during the ceremony.

Although Gram has passed away, she will be with me at my wedding, because of my memories and her gown that she wore so many years ago.

And yes, I finally did find my Prince Charming.